Jeepers this was no fun

After 24 hours of limbo we got the answer. It is a no go this month.

This was the worst wait ever. I am pretty sure that either pregnancy started and didn’t make it or I had some kind of weird backwards PMS. The extreme Moob soreness started 7 days after ovulation and then eased up as I got closer to my period. I never get PMS symptoms like that and why would it improve as I get closer to my period? Then instead of just getting a period I had 24 hours of very light on and off spotting. We were on the edge of our seats wondering where this was taking us. I am so glad that is done. I can take a BFN, but being held in suspense sucks.

My doctor says no more than two cycles of clomid in a row, so I am off for a month. We have a lot of appointments to try to work it out when/if we are switching clinics and to figure out our next steps.

My best girl made me a fine breakfast this morning of waffles and nutella before work. I am now I am just waiting for her to come home so we can spend some serious couch time with Moumee the cat. I am also planning to eat some more nutella straight from the jar on a spoon mmm my favorite way.

The worst wait.

This is the toughest one ever.

In last few days about 70-80% of the time I have ouchy sore moobs (man boobs cause I’m a husband). I go to yoga and lay on the mat, ouch. I rollover in bed, ouch. I hold my best girl, ouch. I go for a walk, ouch ouch. I would be thrilled if this was due to pregnancy and not some other reason. It does leave me hopeful, but we have been down this path enough times to not get our hopes up too much. The moobs hurting also makes it really tough to do other things and forget about being in the TWW. The other 20-30% of the time I feel physically better, but overall worse because I think it didn’t work.

I am lucky enough to have a long weekend and tomorrow off. I can do yoga and biking. If this turns into a BFN there is going to be some serious sushi eating and drinks.

Fasten your seatbelts this TWW is wild.

No they are not back to normal. They did improve a lot, enough that I thought it was game over. But now ow ow ow they are not normal. I would like a fleece bra or to be topless in sunny Hawaii. I am not normally a topless kind of girl, but right now all my clothes are made out of sandpaper.

I just got home from eating the last Chinese night market food until next summer. Yummy. I ate 11 Takoyaki (Japanese octopus balls). That is a personal record for me.

My mother in law brought us a mop from the night market. It is bright purple and yellow and she got the biggest one. Our house is looking shiny and clean since she came and we have eaten yummy Chinese food every night. She takes good care of us.

Back to normal…

And just like that everything changed. I feel normal again. No more soreness no more anything. The TWW craziness continues.

The Fertility test

1) I have very sore breasts from:

a) fertility drugs

b) pregancy

c) TWW hallucinations

d) poking them for the pregnancy test

e) any of the above

They frigging hurt. Yesterday they hurt a little, but I thought that might have been from poking. Today I don’t need to poke to tell ya that they just plain aren’t right. At this point, unfortunately, the reason could be e) any of the above. I am not buying maternity smocks yet. I truly hope that the answer is b) pregnancy and I don’t just have this for some other wacky reason. Jeepers. This fertility business is enough to make me go cuckoo over Cocoa Puffs.

My invented pregancy test

I poke, but only on the second week of the TWW. I can’t help it. I am pretty sure that if I was pregnant that my bikini top filler would get sore. This is not based on being pregnant, but from my experiences taking the pill and the trigger shot, both of which imitate pregnancy. I am also fully aware, that poking could also make them sore and that would make my home pregnancy test invalid. Taking fertility drugs is known for making them sore, again invalidating my test. Despite the flaws with this test, I am still going ahead with it. I am just heading into the second half of the TWW and so far nothing to report.

Charting disapointment

Here is the story of IUI number two. On Wednesday I had the ultrasound and it showed one good size follicle, so I triggered. For thursday morning’s IUI, my fluid and cervix looked great. Friday I had good EWCM again. Everything looks good right? Wrong my temperature didn’t go up until today, Sunday. Did I ovulate yesterday? If so, I hope that a few of those 23 million were still alive and kicking and ready to do business.

This is so frustrating.

Onto some good news,  my apartment is looking spanking clean. By 8am this morning my mother in law had the dishwasher unloaded, the fridge scrubbed and she had eaten breakfast. She generally starts cleaning at 7am. I know this because my best girl and I are sleeping in the middle of this. The cat, mou-mee, loves the flurry of activity in this small apartment. Luckily she doesn’t understand chinese and isn’t aware of the scolding she is getting for being so hairy and dirty. Aiya!

I believe in the tent on my head

In my job I do a lot of different things everyday. Right after shooting myself up with drugs in the bathroom, I headed back to the shop to get fitted for a respirator. The tent was to test it. The respirator guy held something smelly under the tent to see if I could smell it or not.

I doubt anyone trying to conceive has tried wearing a tent on their head. We are all taking temperatures, drugs, charting, eating certain things and avoiding other things but I have never heard of wearing a tent after shooting up and before inseminating. Who knows, this may be what does the trick. I may accidentally have discovered the secret to fertility!

Today’s sperm count was a whopping 23 million. The nurse asked me if I had room for all that in there. I took at deep breathe to expand out the area and got ready. What a count. There must be quite a commotion going on in there. I wish I could have taken a nap instead of going back to work. 23 million is more tiring than 17 million. I could feel it. Now egg go and drop if you are not there all ready! I am wearing superstar underwear to encourage a winning combination.

First time shooter

How do you know when you are fully immersed in the fertility business?

Starting your day with some dildo camming, head straight to work, and then watch the clock all day to make sure that you hit the bathroom at the right time to shoot up.

I am very proud to say that I gave myself the trigger shot.

Jiminy crickets!

This week there will be plenty of POAS, an ultrasound, a trigger shot, an IUI, an appointment with my favorite Natropathic student doctors, some blood drawn, one mother in law arriving to stay for 10 days. oh yeah, I have to work as well.