I have to wean myself off fancy fertility clinic ultrasounds every two to three weeks and onto the Doppler each month. It ain’t easy. I was getting some serious ultrasound withdrawal symptoms in the last couple of days. Do I refill my daily vitamin box? Should I buy some shirts that make the bump look cute? Do I wear the maternity pants or try to squish back into regular pants again. Am I really still pregnant?
Fear was rising up and threatening to strangle me again yesterday. I know the fear is partly from over two years of fertility treatments and partly from growing up in such extreme craziness that it qualifies me to be interviewed on daytime television. I am the poster child of resilience. Now I live in a great apartment with F and the pets and am surrounded by people that cry with happiness for us that we are finally pregnant. Life is good.
Last night we saw the midwife for our regular monthly appointment. The doppler found the heartbeat right away. What a relief. I am still pregnant. The midwife also helped me to feel where my growing uterus was. She also said that no more ultrasounds could be thought of as a relief since it means that everything is good. Now I don’t have to do anything for another month except figure out which pants to wear. I feel better again.
PS belly shots coming soon 
May 27, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I love your posts. You are so cute. Glad to hear the only worry you have now are which pants to wear! Can’t wait to see the belly blogs!
May 27, 2009 at 2:09 pm
i like the way your midwife thinks, im going to try to focus on that. i miss the frequent monitoring of my RE also!
glad to hear the appointment went well and the little heartbeat was easy to find! it’s such a reassuring sound.
cant wait to see the belly pics! you are brave, i think im still a few weeks away from posting mine
May 28, 2009 at 6:58 am
Glad to hear that all is well with the baby, the bump and the stretchy pants. I agree with Puffer that your posts are fantastic.
May 28, 2009 at 7:41 am
Yay for comfy pants! I can’t wait for the belly shots…
May 28, 2009 at 8:38 am
Fear is normal, at least I keep telling myself that.
May 28, 2009 at 10:23 am
Yes you are pregnant! Hooray for the heartbeat. Now go put on some maternity pants, silly.
May 28, 2009 at 1:58 pm
You ARE the POSTER CHILD OF RESILIENCE. I want to get you a t-shirt or button that says that. My god, that made me laugh and cry at the same time. I’m sitting here in a cafe smiling and with some tears in my eyes at the same time… smiling and crying. I think about all of those years of resilience and how you have so much to give this little one…so much to celebrate and teach them about resilience.
May 29, 2009 at 12:00 am
Everything is good! Hooray! Everything is good! So soon dear one you won’t need a doppler to tell you you’re still pregnant, soon there will be no denying it! Life is good.
xo
May 29, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I love normal and please know that it will start to feel normal to you too. But I know your fear and addiction to many appointments. Also I say go to maternity pants – they are damn comfortable!!
June 2, 2009 at 8:57 am
Embrace the maternity pants!!
So glad all is well.