In case you were wondering…I am the kind of mama that will put a Halloween costume over pjs on a sick baby, mop up soaking wet grass with a towel, make the dog’s halloween costume out of an old crib mattress cover during the Bee’s very short nap (because she is too stuffy to stay asleep) all for the perfect Halloween photo shoot. Fantastic! I love it. Dressing up kids and pets is my kind of thing.
And just like that she took her first steps. Woozers. Watching her grow is so amazing.
After two nights of marathon nursing sessions with an almost unsoothable baby left me wondering what the heck? This morning the answer came in the form of snot. Lots of it. Another cold. I would wonder how did she get since she isn’t even at daycare yet, except this morning she put her hands in bird poo and rubbed it all over. Basically she is a creepy crawler who is into everything and picks up everything including cold germs and bird poo. Love her anyway.
Thank you so much for your comments! I feel much better. I needed to hear that yes it is hard and yes it gets better. I was hoping to figure out how to avoid the hard part. D’uh things don’t work like that. My new plan is jump in, if I flap and run around like a chicken so be it. Sometimes doing the chicken dance is a part of flowing with life.
I am all flappy right now. I feel like a chicken running around in circles. In a short time I am going back to work. I just got my LOA papers that approve me going back four days a week for one year, which is good. I wasn’t sure if that would be approved.
I know what I would like for our family and that vision seems so far away. I can really see a good balance for us being one of us full-time or close to and the other part-time around 15 hours a week. I can’t see either of us stepping out of work completely and one income is not quite enough.
Right now there is a lot of commotion and hullabaloo where we both work. There is a new president at the college and the place is getting overhauled. I work in a department that is massively over budget every year. We are of course under scrutiny and there are rumbles of layoffs and making us all contractors. Also the government is cutting money to trades, which could mean layoffs in the Baking department where F works. She is auxiliary and doesn’t have a position but it could potentially change how much work there is for her. There are also lots of this and thating about a position for her but who knows. The dust hasn’t settled and we just need to wait and see what happens. It will all come together by March for sure. I know that all this is going to work out one way or another and that we can build something that will fit and make sense for us, but I also know right now we just have to hold onto our jobs and see what happens.
What I really don’t want to happen is both of us working so much that we are both flat out exhausted and not being there for her early growing up years. I just don’t want to miss them. I fear that is where we are headed. I will be working a lot and F needs to keep taking contracts right now so that she keeps seniority. We have excellent care set up for her and are incredibly lucky. She will be with some good friends of ours where she will learn about superheros, gardening, compassion and play.
I just can’t imagine going to work. I am worried about being able to do my job after being off for so long, and sad about not being there with her and nursing her during the day. F is going to mostly take November off and the two of them having time together will be such a good experience. I know it will make the transition for her and I much easier.
I really think I just have to do it and it will be ok and that possibly thinking about it is worse than actually doing it. People just tell me this transition is really hard. That doesn’t help me feel better. For those of you who have done it, what makes it better and easier?
Here is the good and the bad
-I am in a suburb in Edmonton. F says we are technically within the city limits, but I look around and don’t see any city, only vinyl sided houses. I am a fish out of water. F’s family is fantastic and that makes it worthwhile.
-Bee’s cousins have provided her with her first encounter with Princess Bar.bie and My Litt.le Pony. Up until now, I have only been riled up about how gendered clothes are for kids.
-Bee is no longer afraid of electronic toys that oink, moo and play music.
-We are staying in a multi-level house with 4 flights of stairs and zero childgates.
-Robert Edwards has been awarded the 2010 Nobel Prize for the development of IVF.
-Bee got a cold and is one by one making everyone here sick. Travel and sickness equals no sleep.
-Everyone will be better by Saturday so we can go the pumpkin patch. I can’t wait.