The first shot is done. Today, after a few reminders, she finally got the seasonal flu shot. We don’t actually know which flu she had although the assumption is that it was the piggy flu. I do know that when F’s body sees germs it joins right in and before you know it, it’s disco fever. In the last eight months she has had the full on flu twice and two colds. In a few weeks she can get the other flu shot. This is what she had to say about her first shot…

“Why do some shots sting more than others?”

“I would rather take malaria pills than the flu shot.”

“A student in my class got the flu shot and then had a fever and had to miss a day of school. I might get a fever. The nurse said so.”

“I don’t feel well already. You know that the only time I got the flu shot, I got the flu.”

“I have this kink in my neck and now it is worse from the flu shot.”

“Someone at work got the shot and her whole arm swelled up.”

“I am going to have to take Tylenol at work today.”

After everything we have been through in the past few weeks with sickness, I didn’t even know what to say to her. You just gotta love her though.

This morning my comb was sitting there on the bathroom counter with short white fur in it. Luckily I have a lot of experience as a girl detective and quickly narrowed my list of suspects.  There were two suspicious looking characters in the house; F and Moumee. After tackling F and tickling her she readily confessed to having brushed Moumee with my comb. She quickly defended her actions by saying, “Moumee likes it. I brushed her right on the top of her heady mchead.”  I suspect this will not be the last time that Moumee and I share grooming tools.

• Ultrasound says baby is big enough and not too worry
• My sister came with me to the ultrasound and swimming after
• This afternoon F started to look a lot better
• I am guessing that in a few more days she will look healthy enough that she can make it into the hospital if Junior comes early
• My good friend CH helped me shop at the Superstore, so that we now have some instant food in case the baby comes early
• We hired a house cleaner and the carpet is now puke free
• I am less overwhelmed
• After I wrap up some emails and paper work I will be done work!
• I did laundry and have clean maternity panties again.

Dam this flu. Last night I reached the end. I went to prenatal class and checkup and collapsed. They told me, that I looked terrible and needed to rest more and I am losing weight instead of gaining. My midwife says she thinks everything is fine and I am having a baby that is the right size for me, but I should have another ultrasound to be sure.  F was still really sick and I came home and we cried in our separate rooms. Then sometime during the night my throat started to hurt ( I think from crying) and then I cried more because I thought I was getting sick.

I was supposed to go back to work today, but I emailed my supervisor and told her I am done. I am too worn out and overwhelmed. I was supposed to work this week and three days next week. I am hoping that sick days will cover this time, but either way I can’t do it anymore. Taking care of the house, F and the dog while being so scared about  mine and juniors health was too much. I also realized it will also take F a while to get better.

My throat feels better today and I feel like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t planning on leaving work this early, but I feel so much better. Today is the first day that F and I are allowed to be in the same room and she is considered non-contagious. It is also the first day she has been awake.

It is a sunny Monday and I am not sick. Knock on wood. Yesterday I wasn’t sure if I would be sending F to the hospital, but she is getting better.

She still has to stay in one room and we are lysoling everything until she is finished taking the tami.flu pills and should no longer be contagious. She doesn’t actually move anyway, so that is easy. I managed to get two sick days off work so I can basically nap and take care of junior, me and her.

My heart has stopped pounding in fear that I will get sick and she will be in the hospital. It is a surreal experience having her so sick and taking care of her while wondering how junior and I will make it through if I get sick.  The past few days are so similiar to when I did the IVF transfer and she got really sick. I was on bed rest and she was in a separate room with the flu. I was so scared of getting sick and having the cycle be a bust.

F has promised me to get the flu shot for the next three years. She got the flu before the shot was available this year, but her immune system basically thinks it’s party time every time a bug comes around and joins right in instead of fighting them off.

F is sick with the flu. The full on flu. This girl can really get sick. Which kind? Who knows. The CDC says there is  no point testing. She is taking tam.iflu. I also have a prescription that I can take if I show any kind of symptoms.

Today was really stressful. Her doctor’s office wasn’t calling back. We are both scared about me getting sick. Luckily the birth program I am in called prescriptions for both of us in. They said there is no point in me staying somewhere else now, since I have already been exposed to what ever she has. We are lysoling the house and she is sleeping in a separate room just to reduce further exposure. I am also going to make extra sure that I get enough rest, lots of fluid and eat extra oranges for Vitamin C.  I am so scared of  getting as sick that sick right now. So far so good.Knock on wood.

Want quick service at the pharmacy? Go and pick up the tam.iflu prescription. I have never been helped so fast. They carefully avoid mentioning the H word. They didn’t even want me to pay for it. Just here you go and call us if you have any questions.

This last week has been a good one and I finally am starting to feel more relaxed. Many great things happened.

One of my concerns all the way through this fertility process has been getting through all the medical stuff with out it sending me in a tailspin down trauma lane.  My growing up experiences were so far out there (not in a good way) that I could easily be on Oprah or in a tabloid. Thanks to some great support, drugs and presents I have made it through so far.

This week a bunch of things came together that helped my brain get some new neural paths in a more positive direction for labour and birth.

• In the prenatal class the master doula came and showed some videos and added hilarious commentary. She has tons of enthusiasm, a positive attitude and a great sense of humor.
• The first couple in our prenatal class had their baby. The hospital was crazy full in September, due to the snow storm 9 months ago, and despite all the chaos and a difficult labour they are looking good.
• Our doula that is assigned to us came to our house with a kit full of things that will help with labour. She says the baby is in a good position. She spent over an hour with us.
• I had a surprise shower at work on Friday and it was so much fun. I truly love the people that I work with. My co-worker’s wife just had their baby last month and they came to the shower. That was the best part. J gave me a few tips that she learned during her 60 hours of labour!
• My care providers aim to only  do the necessary medical interventions and checks. I also have great plans for dealing with anxiety from medical things so that even if it does happen it will be ok. I can also ask for  anti-anxiety drugs if I need to have a C section.
• Tomorrow I am going to see my natropath student doctors to get some things to take during and after labour. The program I am in completely supports this.

All of this left me feeling better. I feel like my brain started to grow in a new more healthy direction. Everything is starting to fall into place. I am so happy to be in this prenatal program (Centering Pregnancy). Having group care and ongoing short prenatal classes has let me slowly start to take everything in and not be too overwhelmed. I feel more able to make other decisions related to this baby now.

Other news this week….

Zoe finally passed the car seat inspection after they redid everything we had done

Moumee actually likes the baby ergo and gives it two paws up!

This was a DIY pants off appointment.  The clinic we are going to do incorporates prenatal care with the prenatal class. Anyway, Tuesday night was more about labour, doulas and GBS testing. GBS testing ain’t rocket science and we were all given kits and sent the washroom. No big production, no monkey around with my lady business, just me and a giant q-tip. I like this place. They avoid messing around with you unless it is necessary. I also pee on my own sticks for glucose testing, take my own blood pressure and weigh myself.